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Everybody hurts - Chapter 2

Title: Everybody hurts – Chapter 2: Fresh start
Author: Miles Sinnerman 
E-Mail: milessinnerman@gmail.com 
Date Finished: Sometime this year 
Rating:  PG-13
Words: 1818
Keywords: slash, Jack/Sawyer
Spoiler: Season 3 
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. They own me, body and soul :P 
Author's note: Hey! Sorry for the last post! I did a mess without LJ cut. Hope this time I got it right! 

Previous chapter

Chapter 2: Fresh start

Back in LA he tries to focus on his work. He works very hard for a long time.

The hospital offered him his father’s position but he refused. He doesn’t want that kind of responsibility.

He works during the day and drinks during the night and just like that days go by without living them at all.

More than a year passed. He doesn’t feel pain anymore. It’s worse than that, he doesn’t feel anything. He’s numb.

Cassidy died six months ago. Sawyer kept on with his life as he could for Clementine’s sake. Everything is twice as hard. The thing that worries him the most is Clementine’s sadness. She lost her own and unique spark and he just wants her to have it back.

He has to think carefully now, Clementine is less than a year from start pre-school and he has to offer her a definitely place to live with a good school nearby and far away from their old neighbor so they can have a fresh start.

He grabs a map of the country and puts it on the floor. He asks Clementine to close her eyes and put her index finger wherever she wants. He explains “In case we choose weird places, we got 3 shots ok?” Clementine looks at his daddy, nods, and moves her finger all over the map till she stops. Temple, Texas.

“Oh honey! I think it’s too hot and republican for us! Let’s try again”. Clementine pays attention to his father. She doesn’t understand what he says but smiles anyway happy to continue playing. She moves her finger again with her eyes closed. King Salmon, Alaska. Sawyer laughs out loud. “Alaska? Oh no! Too cold!” he says moving his hands over his arms. Clementine laughs too.

“Ok, Clem”, he looks at her seriously. “One last shot!” Clementine looks at the map, then at his father. She exhales and concentrates. Such an actress he thinks.

She closes her eyes one last time and moves her finger very slowly over the map. Los Angeles, California.

“You want to be an actress huh?” She nods energetically.

“Ok sweetheart, LA it is” They hug and he kisses her loudly on her cheek.

Sawyer packed everything they have, sold the house and all that belonged to Cassidy. In less than a month they were there.
Clementine loves it, he can tell. She is so excited about everything. The spark isn’t there yet, but he thinks she’s close.

He looked at several schools and finally chose the Overland Avenue Elementary School. He also bought a house in the Bradbury Road very close to the school.

Every detail seems to be covered. He is pleased and doesn’t have to worry about money. Oceanic took care of that.

Clementine loves the school. They have a preschool program and she fitted perfectly.

Time passed and Clementine stops asking about her mom. Sawyer isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He waits to see how she behaves.

He picks her up from school as usual. “How was school honey?” He has to laugh to himself at that. He couldn’t believe what he had turned into. She shrugs without speaking. ‘So that kind of day’ he thinks. “I think someone very pretty I know deserves an ice-cream today”

“So tomorrow another one! I’m gonna be pretty tomorrow too right daddy?” She adds smiling. “And very smart too” adds Sawyer.

They go to the Westwood Blvd. He bought her favorite flavors and then they walked around holding hands.

That night Clementine feels sick. Very sick. Her fever rises to 103°F and he is scared shitless. He grabs the car keys, picks her up and drives to St. Sebastian Hospital.

He asks for him on the front desk. They say that he is in surgery and assure him they can take care of her daughter, there´s no need to disturb Dr. Shephard. He knows he’s overreacting, that it’s probably nothing, but he is only willing to put his child in the hands of the man who once saved his life and no one else’s.

Fortunately Jack finished his surgery very soon, and went to the room where they said that someone very persistent was waiting for him and only him.

Without looking he says as he cleans himself up “Excuse me, you were looking for me? What can I do for you…” he looks up just to see how to finish the sentence with Sir or Madam. “…? Sawyer? What are you doing here?” His heart begins pumping very hard.

“Doc, it’s Clementine. She’s got this fever, I didn’t know what to do” Sawyer goes straight to the point.

“Oh, ok. Let me see her. Put her down on this bed.” Sawyer obeys and Jack tries to stay cool.

“Hi Clementine, you are huge! Do you remember me? I’m Jack.” He smiles to her but she does nothing.

“Let’s see. Do you feel any pain?” She points to her head.

“Your head hurts?” She nods.

“Can you tell me exactly where?” She points to her left ear.

Jack checks everything and follows the routine. “Ok baby girl it’s all right. Here, have this candy. You were great.” He looks at Sawyer. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. It’s an ear infection. I will give you some meds and I’ll explain you how to administrate it to her, ok?” He says in doctor mode.

Sawyer is serious and listens to him very carefully. Jack has to laugh. “She’s ok Sawyer!”

“It’s just … she puts me that sad puppy face and I don’t know what to do”

“Yeah, she is something.” They both watch her in silence.

Going back to business. “You have to fill in these forms.” He gives him all the papers. “I’m done for tonight so if you want I can walk you out.” Jack offers gently.

They both realized Clementine fell asleep. “You finish the forms, I can carry her.” Jack says. He grabs her gently and the three of them leave the room.

Sawyer leaves the forms in the front desk and follows Jack who went outside to the parking lot.

“Where to?” Jack asks.

“That’s my car”. Sawyer answers pointing to the black Prius. They put her carefully in the back seat.

“You want me to drive ya home?” Sawyer asks. Jack has his own car parked a few cars from this, but says nothing about it. “Ok”

“So how long you’ve been living here?” Jack wonders after saying where he lives.

“Since Cassidy died, almost a year now.” Sawyer answers looking straight ahead.

“How is she?” Jack asks him moving his head slightly backwards pointing to her.

“Hard to say, sometimes she seems happy but some other times I know she misses her.”

“Give her time, she’ll get through this.”

“I know what is to lose a mother when you are young. Your mind plays tricky games. You feel rejected from the world. You don’t understand why this happened to you of all people. You feel guilty somehow.”

“She has you, Sawyer. That is the best thing that could ever happen to her. A present and loving father who understands how she feels.”

“I don’t know doc, she doesn’t say anythin’. She locked herself up”

“You’ll reach her. Don’t worry.”

Clementine wakes up and starts to complain about the pain. “Why don’t we go to your place?” Offers Jack. “You can put Clementine to bed and make her comfortable. I can call a cab from there.”

This is about his daughter so he doesn’t think it twice. “Sounds good to me.” Jack smiles even though nobody is watching him.
Sawyer hits the accelerator and they were home in no time. “Here we are.” He gets out and opens Clementine’s door, “Baby c’mon. Let me carry you.”

Sawyer carries her and Jack deals with all the closings and opening doors. They put her in bed and give her the first dosage of medicine. She falls asleep exhausted.

Sawyer closes the door carefully. “You ate somethin’?” He asks Jack. “No, but it’s ok I’m calling a cab and going home.”

“I’m starvin’. I have some leftovers and I only have to heat that up. So what you say?” Sawyer says.

“Ok then.” Jack is famished. It was a very long day and as usual he didn’t eat anything during the whole day.

Sawyer doesn’t have any wine. He’s not the wine type. He enjoys drinking it but doesn’t know which to buy. “I have beer.” He says.

“Great.” Jack answers. He needs something stronger, but doesn’t complain about it.

They ate. Sawyer only talked about Clementine. Jack commented about the house. “This place is perfect, Sawyer. I didn’t know you have such a good taste in decorating.” He says ironically.

“Less things you have, it better looks.”

Jack looks at him straight in the eye. He is looking for something, a hint that assures him that it’s ok. Nothing, damn it.

“I should go” Sawyer walks him to the door, while Jack searches for a cab number in his cell phone. The night is lovely, perfect temperature, no wind. Just like the island. They can wait outside.

It’s been a long time since both of them have physical contact and suddenly there is this electricity in the air that surrounds them both.
Jack finds the number but doesn’t dial it. He looks at Sawyer and grabs his hand so very gently. Sawyer only looks at their hands but doesn’t look up. He is terrified. Jack finds the way through the hair curtain and kisses him.

Sweet at first. Sawyer does nothing. Jack insists. Jack’s mouth is on his, hungrily searching a response from Sawyer’s lips. The sensation of Jack’s lips makes him shiver. For a moment he thinks about the neighbors, but then again it’s late and they aren’t making any noise. That thought distracts him. He makes a small noise against Jack’s lips, trying to tell him to stop, but ends up welcoming Jack’s demanding tongue into his mouth.

Jack presses himself closer to Sawyer’s body, not wanting the kiss to end. He seeks out Sawyer’s tongue with his own, feeling Sawyer’s texture. He’s starving, wanting to devour him completely. It feels so good. So perfect. Sawyer hates that.

Jack lets go Sawyer’s hand and moves his hands to his neck grabbing his head firmly as he guides the kiss. The sound of Sawyer gasping for breath is incredibly erotic.

Jack doesn’t want to end the kiss whatsoever, he just wants to for the time to stop, so they can be like this forever. Hot, curious, starving. The fear, the doubt and the excitement all together but Sawyer puts a stop to it. By that time they were both hard and panting.

“I see your point, doc. You should go now” He enters the house breathless and leaves Jack behind and alone.

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